Ok I don't want this to come across as all kinda manic I'm really kinda confused (more so than usual).
I just cant seam to shake this feeling of desperation & its starting to well it just isn't me. It's like my time is running out I'm stuck in a in between place. No not the TS thing ( all though connected) more like the world changed and I'm on the last page.
Yes I think its great that young people are coming out and getting the opportunity to transition & at the same time i keep banging against the same old it can be done but not for you thing.
Mostly I think that i get along so as that most people don't know just how bad I'm hurting.
I never was the suicidal type (would rather make every one ells as miserable as myself first)but that said I think that I'm starting to understand why some choose it as the way to end the pain.
Most people just think oh keep on you will get there but I'm quickly approaching that place to where why bother if all i get to be is a old lady.
I say fuck that its not enough and that said I'm screwed as the funds for feminising procedures just isn't coming but for now I keep trying to go forward like I have a choice in it.
As another TS and one who over the last few days has been rather depressed I do understand what it is you are saying. I had reached the point of wanting to give up and it was only the love of my girl friend/lover/mistress which kept me here.
ReplyDeleteHugs sister
I will never give up but truth be told some days are tuff.
ReplyDelete& hugs bac @ya
Girl I really feel for you. I know we have recently met but somehow you have climbed into my heart. I think constantly about you and your struggle. It pains me that I have my hands tied at the moment and can't do bugger all except offer my knowledge and advice. I have honestly run every idea under the sun through this brain of mine! This journey is long and hard love but you will get there, i know it sounds cliche, but you will. I'm going to help you the best I can. Hugs and kissesGirl I really feel for you. I know we have recently met but somehow you have climbed into my heart. I think constantly about you and your struggle. It pains me that I have my hands tied at the moment and can't do bugger all except offer my knowledge and advice. I have honestly run every idea under the sun through this brain of mine! This journey is long and hard love but you will get there, i know it sounds cliche, but you will. I'm going to help you the best I can. Hugs and kisses
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