this touched me a Journal Entry by a young trans person

I read this & instantly new how she feels so im posting it here as well with her permission

 

How I feel 

Journal Entry by Humble-Obedience 

silently he fades into the background wherever he roams,
going unnoticed and unseen he has grown comfortable in his solitude,
there is something soothing about a lonely walk, or a calm night while the moon shines on his lonesome face,
somewhere in the isolation he has found a true comfort, almost a friend in the darkness,
to a world within his own mind he escapes whenever he should need to,
he has lost the need and desire to associate with others, for his mind is his closest friend,
he sometimes wonders what it would be like to break free, to scream at the top of his lungs,
but he cannot, the pain has robbed him of his voice, he has lost the will to speak,
as people pass by, he stares at them, quietly evaluating them in his mind,
he sees the pain in their eyes that most do not, he sees beyond the masks they wear,
for he was once in their shoes, just another kid, following the crowd,
putting on a fake smile every morning, but then he failed to see the point,
why change himself to please others, when he was not even pleased with himself,
silently he wishes to help them, to relieve them of their burdens, but why, these are people who fail to even acknowledge him,
he cares because he wanted so badly for someone to care when the roles were reversed,
when he was the one acting like he has the perfect life everyday when inside he is broken, torn, and dead,
but he realizes he cannot help them, they have thrown him away, they do not know what they have lost,
so once again he fades into the background and waits for her to follow him into this darkness