Why it just sucks

Why do I keep trying I so hate that I feel this way & I just keep putting on a smile for the world. Some days its really hard not to just scream. I see couples together the guy is so proud to have such a pretty women & then their are so many pretty girls and the attention they get and all I can think is I will never have that chance. I know some people think that's silly but I have that thought more & more. I'm so tired of telling myself some day but @ this point I will never get to be the young pretty girl and that well for the lack of a better term pisses me off!!!!!!!! so @ 46 im still trying to achieve that which seams will never happen for me.The worst part of it is for $$,$$$ it could be fixed but as im one of the have knot's such is life.  So I say it just sucks!!!!!!
but that said I will keep trying as the alternative well its just not a option.
im quickly developing a just fuck it attitude with a bit of why give a shit thrown in to boot if I have to be stuck like this i sure as hell don't have to be pleasant all the damn time. its just so fucking hard and im tierd of weighting my turn as it looks like its not comeing any time soon.

Uniform of the day

Black leather corset & leather kilt & boots up to my ass all with shiny buckles is the uniform of the day.
I will take a pic today if even from my phone stay tuned

                                                with my jacket still on

                                            Ok ready for work bring em on
taken with my cell hope they are ok.

time to get to it

Ok happy all is good public face on and once again im sure that everyone will think all is good in Samantha land. Ok lets get to it time to go to work

Oh just FUCK it

its so fucking funny i had to post it in my blog

on the road to Phoenix & @ SWLC

                                              Sunset approaching Deming NM.

well left the house @ 3am and a long day across Texas & calling it a day and staying the night in Deming NM. another 5-6 hours then we should be @ the hotel in Phoenix will add more tomorrow nightie night.
headed out from Deming shortly after 8am nice drive and beautiful day warm & sunny made it to Phoenix shortly after 2 now 1,244.6 miles done we are @ Hilton for SWLC its going to be a great weekend .
9pm & all setup ready to start vending tomorrow now for a Margarita or 2 and a bit of socializing I do like SWLC its a fun event.
Friday morning @ SWLC in Phoenix used the hotel gym nice work out .now some sweet creamy coffee and then a shower and go see who has arrived as I'm sure they will be coming in all day more later.
What a great day so many friends are here Oklahoma,Chicago,Canada, really East to West North & south even some really kewl new people that I'm just getting to meet & the energy so far is amazing and the weekend is just starting.
The contests & presenters & vendors and then the sun go's down and the naughty fun starts.
Wow what a great day so many fun folks and the Dungeon great play Scene's who doesn't like watching a beautiful women whip up on a cute Asian guy and Jason the boot black you give the best face my leathers love ya Honey DaBoi you are a lucky girl ;-) the evening was full of so much positive energy it's all ways sad when the last day gets here but we still have today so im hopeing to see many of yall today for hugs & smooches that's the best part of saying buh bye till next time so please come see me today before you go.
Ok another great day @ SWLC we had a wonderful time with friends & evan made a few new ones. So with the day winding down and dinner done im in joying a margarita and watching some TV till the morning when we head back east.
Ok hit the road early heading east and the sunrise over the desert leaving Phoenix is just amazing.

                                                       sunrise leaving Phoenix
after 13 hours driving made it to Midland Texas and calling it a day having a Margarita and hitting the bed. will head east in the AM and should be home early evening.
2,536 miles safe and sound van unloaded of  personal luggage & now to spend wednesday lounging (ya right like that will happen) then we head for Atlanta Thursday morning for FFF (fetish fair flea) so till then as all ways stay naughty.

just some pic's from the road through the Arizona desert

                                        rocks in Texas canon Arizona

                                          More rocks

welcome to a new day

Well its Monday morning and my coffee is hot sweet & creamy. so as i enjoy the wonder of a new day im thinking to myself thank you planet Earth for still turning east to west the sun has risen in the east & it will set in the west so im saying thanks for the day in between.

P.S. only 2 days till we head for http://www.southwestleather.org/

Kewl links to my friends

this is the list I know Thea's personally if you visit please let them know i sent you

http://rubelpresents.com/

http://www.marvelousmayhem.com/catalog/index.php

http://www.nativeamericanexotics.com/

http://www.corset1.com/

http://crazyladys.net/

http://www.passional.us/

http://www.theshoeguy.com/

http://www.mtleather.com/index.html